Okay, if there are any guys out there who read…you know the drill by now…your story includes the following information:
I went to the hospital.  Got a few drugs to get the labor going.  Six hours later, I had a baby.  He was big.  The end.

And for the ladies:

So, we headed out to the hospital around 6 ish.  Zoe actually woke up at 4 and said she was cold and didn’t feel good and needed to go to the bathroom.  We told her to turn her fan off, go to the bathroom and go to bed.  She was by Mark’s side a few minutes (I think) later saying she didn’t feel good and was still cold.  Somehow Mark woke up enough to realize she needed to throw up and pointed her towards the bathroom where she, well, threw up.   We started this induction out with a bang!

By the time Zoe was settled in our bed, we decided to go ahead and get up and get ready for the day.  So, off we went to the induction.  They started my pitocin at 7:30.  Ominously, I had told Mark that I was praying the air was working.  We were having a pretty hot and humid streak that was bringing the heat index well above 100.  And, when we got in our room we noticed it was a little stuffy, but not too hot.  Our nurse noticed too and promptly contacted the hospital engineer who came to check it out.  He finally determined our room needed a new thermostat and left to get one.  After some time, he came back without a thermostat (because he couldn’t find one), he did something to the unit and got it kick started and working…making the room much much cooler!  Yay for Mr. Engineer…otherwise, I would have pulled the plug until I could get somewhere cool.

Since my labors are notoriously long, we settled in with a movie.  Speed Racer was the choice (it was next on our cue in Netflix and so it was what we watched…plus, I thought if it was something action packed, then it would help speed things up).

Dr. J came in about 9:30 and broke my water and I was at a big ol’…3 to 4 cm…which was what I came in at.  Pretty bummed, we continued to watch the movie.  After the movie, I realized they were picking up, so I started changing positions and breathing a little bit more through them.

By 11, my nurse came in and wanted to know how I was doing.  I could tell Bryant had moved some and there was some pressure starting to build but it wasn’t anything worth worrying about.  My nurse and Dr. J were pretty anxious to make sure they knew when I was complete.  So, she decided to check me.  Personally, I question her “checking” skills because when we came in she couldn’t even tell I had dilated at all.  When she told me I was at 3 to 4 cm still at 11, I was a little deflated but also optimistic since I knew her “checking” could be a bit off.

However, by 12, I felt completely defeated and was slumped over the back of the hospital bed crying like a…well, a baby…I just knew this labor was going to be another long one and was not looking forward to going through that again.  I stayed slumped over the back of the bed (a favorite position while laboring with Josiah too) but eventually tried the birthing ball as one o’clock approached.  Two contractions through that and I had had enough.

I climbed back in bed and told Mark to just page the nurse.  I was going to give up and get an epidural.  Now, if you’ve read Ceili Rain’s birth story, you probably are thinking what Mark was thinking…she’s transitioning – it’s “go time.”  This was definitely not on my mind since two hours earlier I reported at a mere 3 to 4 cm dilated.  I just knew I couldn’t keep this up for six more hours.  So, I pressed the button and told the nurse that I wanted to be checked.  Mark added that I was feeling pressure which quickly brought a nurse in.  I was, to be honest, feeling quite a bit of pressure but not the need nor urge to push.

My nurse had gone off the floor for something or other, so this nurse checked me really quickly and announced I was at an 8.  Mark and I both began telling her she needed to hurry and get things ready and call Dr. J because I transition quickly.  She didn’t take a second glance and ran out of the room.

Then the flurry of activity began and as I got put up high on my throne (so Dr. J could deliver), I really started to feel the urge to push.  Dr. J arrived quickly, got suite up, checked me and I was still not quite complete.  He worked a little and kept working and I still wasn’t quite there.  I could feel my body start to push.  But I knew I wasn’t quite ready to get him out.  So, Dr. J laid the bed down a little to get me to complete (the “lip” left over was on the bottom and Bryant’s head needed to get pressure there to get it to go away).  While I was laying down contracting…which, by the way, is not a fun position for a non-medicated mama, Mark was comforting me, and blogging at the same time.  He was down at my feet because he is the kind of guy who enjoys watching a baby be born…well, at least his babies be born…I know not all guys are like that.  Dr. J who was also at my feet waiting noticed Mark’s phone.  He looked over at it and said, “I just got a Droid three days ago.”

Yes, that is what he said.  I’m laboring without an epidural and my doctor and my husband decide to discuss their phones!  Then Dr. J starts talking about he didn’t know how to do such and such and Mark started to show him.  After finishing up a couple of contractions without my doctor or husband coaching me, I looked up and breathlessly said, “Hey ya’ll!”  To which Mark, who had stayed close and kept a hand on me, moved closer by my side and Dr. J said, “Oh yeah.”

It wasn’t long after that that I really felt I needed to push.  Dr. J checked me (visually) and said I was complete…could be because Bryant was coming out no matter what I did or he said about me being complete.  With the next contraction I pushed and continued to push and out Bryant came!  So, I was complete at 1:31 and had him at 1:32.  I like fast deliveries.

I will say, looking back, that I did not feel I was in good control of my delivery.  That was my fault for losing concentration.  The only thing going through my mind at that time was to get him out!  I even told Dr. J that several times.

So, here’s the after birth funny…Bryant not only came out very healthy and very big.  He also was using the bathroom on himself both pee and poop!  I was a bit disappointed in that because he was so, well, covered in it, that Dr. J and I agreed to let him get a little clean before I held him.  Really, he stunk a little too…so I was okay with that.  However, I never got a good peep at him until after the pediatric nurse finished up her stuff with him.  However, after that, he was all mine.  But, he did decide to poop some more while getting his hair washed.  The nurse had not put a diaper on him but had him wrapped up in towels, so he was covered and got the second bath of his life.  Yep, he met his poop quota in less than two hours after birth!  He’s a super duper pooper!